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Friday, June 4, 2010

Distorted body image

Hey everydoggy! It's Mia here. A lot of doggies, especially the blond colored ones with names that rhyme with Back, think I'm a "big" girl. They have even been known to call me names like FATSO, thunder thighs, BIG BUTT, and many more names I can't even repeat over this public forum. Anyhoo, I know that I am kind of festively plump. The last time I went to the vet I weighed like 86lbs, which is supposidly a wittle too high for me. I'm supposed to weigh in the upper 60/lower 70 range. Mack weighs like 81lbs, but apparently because he has definition he is in the clear. THAT IS SO NOT FAIR! Whatta LOSER! Anyhoo, my mom put me on a diet and switched me onto Nutro Ultra, which is a holistic premium dog food. She says after six months the only thing looking skinnier is her WALLET! I personally think it's her bad picture taking skills! She needs a new and more flattering flashy beast! Yeah! Thats it! It's the cameras fault!
Yeah, so what, my belly is hanging out, but I was relaxing.
WHAT?! That is NOT a roll! NO FAIR! She totally caught me off guard here.
Mack, stop poking my belly!
Mia, woo are looking quite r-o-u-n-d if woo know what I mean...
NOW THATS A GOOD ANGLE! Bravo MOM! Woo are improving your picture taking skills!
MOM! This is a FAIL - an EPIC FAIL! I look like a MOOSE for crying out loud!
Yeh - there we go - give me a moment to suck it in.
Woo! Would woo look at that, woo can see my ribs! WOOOOO!
Mia, the only reason your ribs were visable was because you were clearly sucking in your behemouth BELLY, now quit goofing off and RUN! MOVE THOSE LEGS! Thats right, I'll be your personal trainer and whip woo back into shape!
Oh for the love of Milkbones, Mack I can't keep up. I'm sweating - ewwww...I just gotta let it all hang out sometimes! DON'T JUDGE ME!
Ooooo - ahhhhhh. I like this picture mom. I look very nice and slender if I do say so myself...
uhhh....no comment.... and no that is NOT a neck or chin roll! I SWEARS IT!
Woo all know what, I like being squishy sometimes to tell woo all the truth. There is just more of me to love! Mango thinks I look good as a full bodied girl...and he's so dreamy......so just love me - ALL of me. If woo don't I will SIT ON WOO! Tee-hee!
Wags and Woofs,
Mack and Mia

19 comments:

  1. Ummm..I was thinking that some of all this is just da law of PHYSICS. Anytime you lay on da floor it's just makes evrything squish up and makes you look bigger. That sounds righ, right? Yep, leave it me to haves all da answers you need. Of course, a good camers does wonders too...and photoshop...hehehehe!
    Puddles

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  2. Mia, You can just come on over and live with us - we think you are practically perfect in every way - Maybe you should change your name to Mary.

    XOXO
    Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Ruairi

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  3. Mia, tell them that you are not fat. You are just big-boned! You are beautiful Mia!

    Samantha & June

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  4. Mia - There's lots and lots of boys that like girls with curves! I think you're just super duper amazingly perfect myself. (And my Brudder Ranger said to tell you that he thinks so, too - even if you are a labragal.)

    Wiggles & Wags,
    mayzie

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  5. Awww Mia, its all about the camera angle! :) You just have to watch which pictures your mom is posting!

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  6. Aw, Mia, just keep smiling!
    Daisy Mae

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  7. Not to be confused with any other puppies named Jack btw! :)

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  8. Mia, you are beautiful! You have the most beautiful brown fur coat, all sleek and gleaming.
    Now we are kinda curvy ourselves - the vet is happy with Bailey but wants Martha to lose weight.
    We just try and stay active and have not too many treats.
    Martha's problem is she eats my food too!!!!!
    We love seeing you running around and enjoying life - that is the main thing.
    Our mum's last basset Harry was so fat when he arrived at age 5 that he could hardly walk never mind run.
    His tummy dragged the floor - now he was a serious weight issue until he got into shape!
    love
    Martha and Bailey xxx

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  9. Mia... you would look very much thin and fit... IF your mom would use the correct setting on the flashy beast... I am sure she has it on... wide angle... she needs to put it on PAWtrait. Run right over and tell her!!! OK????

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  10. My mom preFURs to khall it voluptuous!

    Hugz&Khysses,
    Khyra & Khousin Merdie
    PeeEssWoo: Have woo khonsidered green beans? They are on the menu at Khamp Khyra this session and they seem to be helping

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  11. Oh Mia! We know diets are no fun! We hope you find some food that works for you and helps you regain your svelte figure! Then you can blow the raspberries at Mack! We know you can do it!

    Bunny

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  12. Mia you're beautiful. Just make sure you get a contract that states you can only be photographed from your good side.

    Sometimes they say I look like a keg on legs. That's not very nice, is it.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

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  13. Oh, Mia, you are beautiful!!! The humans say that the camera adds ten pounds so blame it on the camera. You are not a big girl, at all.

    Love,
    Teddy Bear

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  14. Mia, we think you are beautiful and you have such a gorgeous shiny coat. We were going to suggest the green bean diet too but we see Khyra already mentioned it. Tell Mack to be careful, he will have his day too:)

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

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  15. Hi, Mia!
    I wonder why the Vets have problems with our weight!
    I have been on a diet for almost all my life!
    Right now, I am on my ideal weight but I always look chubby in my pictures! Hmmmm...
    Don't worry! You are a beautiful girl... no matter the size!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  16. Wow, living with a PT who is hassling you all day long must be tough! I was training my sister Pede for a while there, then she turned like 100 and I decided to cut her some slack. Let her eat cake i say! xx Maj

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  17. I think you are beautiful just the way you are!

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  18. I think your beautiful, Mia!! Rolls or no rolls! BOL!

    Wags,
    Zona

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  19. Personally I think you look adorable. And as far as diets go, I feel your pain!

    Pat
    www.critteralley.blogspot.com

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